It's 1:51 am, and a lot is going through my mind. I just created this darn "blogspot" thing, and I feel like it's a pretty healthy thing to do, "blog" that is. So this is my first entry, and probably going to be the most intense one ever.
So far, life has been pretty good. Got my job, going to school, and gained an amazing boyfriend (: But, I feel like my emotions are everywhere, like I can't just focus on one thing, and feel complete .. get me? So many people that left my life, and I thought would be gone forever have re-entered again. Not by choice, but force. I can't seem to think if I should allow it or just try to keep that block button in handy.
I'll start by saying the most "dirt"est guy ever has decided to say Hi to me. I don't want to put it out there, but for most who know me, and how I feel about him, knows he goes by "Action-Figure". Once upon a time I use to feel for this Action Figure guy, and once upon a time he let me down. I'm afraid that if I continue to let him step back into my life again one step at a time it will happen again. Not on a emotional level, but on that vulnerable level [i'm probably not making any sense]. Anywho, he and our past just continues to run through my mind, and i'm not sure if I should let it go, or keep him at a distance .....
Also, someone who I called my brother is now a stranger to me. We as good friends let something happen that should have never happened. Our fault right? "/ I don't like it at all. Everything's so weird, no longer the same, and I want it to go back the way it was ... I don't appreciate the akwardness and the weird faces, and now we both get so defensive with each other, it's not cool. I HATE IT !!!!!!
On a lighter note, away from those problems for just a second.
My boyfriend (: Kevonn Marquis Edwards, aka Bookie Bear, Kevodaddy, and My babbbbby. I love him more than anything. We've been through it all , the tears, exboyfriend/girlfriends, jealousy, trust issues. But we seem to still manage to keep it together. I love you Baby, more than anything in the world, you truly give me smiles, and laughs, and the feeling of love. Something I haven't really felt since June18th,2006. You're amazing, I love your family - your mother is beautiful. We were down for each other 6 years ago, and we back at it again, I can't wait to see where our future takes us. I know this is a sure thing, even if our relationship is bipolar lol. Love you baby, with all of my heart and soul.
Ok, I have to write a whole paragraph to Jacob Brown. My little brother, my white boy. This guy is awsome. He's crazzzzzy, and I love it when he doesn't take his meds [sometimes] For those who don't know Jake is a White Boy, with Black Fits, and Black Friends, yet he acts and speaks completely "white". Haha, I taught him how to jerk [somewhat] that's my lil homie. I ride for that boy, him and his family are amazing, I'd do anything for them. So please don't create unnessacary drama with him, because then you'll be getting some nessacary yelling from me. I'm here for you Jake, always and forever.
MY JOB CAN KISS MY ASSCRACK.
They work me to friggen hard, and I'm not getting paid enough. I need a new job ASAFP <-- got that from "Tropic Thunder".
NATHANIEL ISAAC PITTS.
My fuckin everything ! I love you boocakes, you're amazing (: I love our healthy conversations, and random hangout sessions. "Where the pizza at tho?" Must have been the funniest night of my life. I enjoy your company and appreciate you. Thankyou for always keeping a smile on my face no matter what. You're the best. Don't let anyone tell you different !!!
So far, life has been pretty good. Got my job, going to school, and gained an amazing boyfriend (: But, I feel like my emotions are everywhere, like I can't just focus on one thing, and feel complete .. get me? So many people that left my life, and I thought would be gone forever have re-entered again. Not by choice, but force. I can't seem to think if I should allow it or just try to keep that block button in handy.
I'll start by saying the most "dirt"est guy ever has decided to say Hi to me. I don't want to put it out there, but for most who know me, and how I feel about him, knows he goes by "Action-Figure". Once upon a time I use to feel for this Action Figure guy, and once upon a time he let me down. I'm afraid that if I continue to let him step back into my life again one step at a time it will happen again. Not on a emotional level, but on that vulnerable level [i'm probably not making any sense]. Anywho, he and our past just continues to run through my mind, and i'm not sure if I should let it go, or keep him at a distance .....
Also, someone who I called my brother is now a stranger to me. We as good friends let something happen that should have never happened. Our fault right? "/ I don't like it at all. Everything's so weird, no longer the same, and I want it to go back the way it was ... I don't appreciate the akwardness and the weird faces, and now we both get so defensive with each other, it's not cool. I HATE IT !!!!!!
On a lighter note, away from those problems for just a second.
My boyfriend (: Kevonn Marquis Edwards, aka Bookie Bear, Kevodaddy, and My babbbbby. I love him more than anything. We've been through it all , the tears, exboyfriend/girlfriends, jealousy, trust issues. But we seem to still manage to keep it together. I love you Baby, more than anything in the world, you truly give me smiles, and laughs, and the feeling of love. Something I haven't really felt since June18th,2006. You're amazing, I love your family - your mother is beautiful. We were down for each other 6 years ago, and we back at it again, I can't wait to see where our future takes us. I know this is a sure thing, even if our relationship is bipolar lol. Love you baby, with all of my heart and soul.
Ok, I have to write a whole paragraph to Jacob Brown. My little brother, my white boy. This guy is awsome. He's crazzzzzy, and I love it when he doesn't take his meds [sometimes] For those who don't know Jake is a White Boy, with Black Fits, and Black Friends, yet he acts and speaks completely "white". Haha, I taught him how to jerk [somewhat] that's my lil homie. I ride for that boy, him and his family are amazing, I'd do anything for them. So please don't create unnessacary drama with him, because then you'll be getting some nessacary yelling from me. I'm here for you Jake, always and forever.
MY JOB CAN KISS MY ASSCRACK.
They work me to friggen hard, and I'm not getting paid enough. I need a new job ASAFP <-- got that from "Tropic Thunder".
NATHANIEL ISAAC PITTS.
My fuckin everything ! I love you boocakes, you're amazing (: I love our healthy conversations, and random hangout sessions. "Where the pizza at tho?" Must have been the funniest night of my life. I enjoy your company and appreciate you. Thankyou for always keeping a smile on my face no matter what. You're the best. Don't let anyone tell you different !!!
Fe Hagos Chism, Mahal Kita Lola .
I love you, and I miss you dearly. It's been three years, but it seems like I just saw your beautiful smile yesterday. Our family just isn't the same anymore without you to keep us together. Holidays aren't as exciting, birthdays aren't anymore fun, and September just isn't the month. I remember your face, and your voice, and everything you've said to me. I can't wait till I can see you in my Dreams again. Don't be afraid to visit me in my dreams every now and then. I miss your presence. I love you, more than the sky stretches, and the stars shine, more than the wind blows, and the ocean waves. No one will ever be able to take your place, remember that, you're always in my heart, and you'll never be taken out.
i love my bella steez sisters, idgaf if you have a problem with it (:
1 comment:
yeee, someone else got one !
(:
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